Was that enough razorblades for yah?

22 04 2008

It was Wednesday night. 9 pm. The last hour of the work night. It was me and another person acting out as check out chicks with a more experienced supervisor being in charge of us both. At the time she was out and about organizing magazines, cleaning shelves, all that kind of supervisor waste the time stuff. We were serving customers at the front with their items. The night was uneventful and time was spent chatting to the other individual or the friendly new security guard that happened to be staying in front of our registers (unlike previous idiots).

Then she entered the store. Well I didn’t know she was going to be trouble but what do I know? Wearing a bright blue top, this feral (Sukus stealis) came in with her environmentally friendly green bag. She got a little basket and went of to collect items for her to ‘purchase’. It got to about 9.30 and there happened to be a bit of a crowd at the check outs. All of a sudden the feral came out of nowhere (conveniently when it got busy). She had her ‘bulky’ environmentally friendly green bag with her and also a small basket with a number of average munchable items like chewing gum and chips and a drink or two from the freezer. She then made her move.

She leaves her basket on the end of the conveyor belt and while still carrying her green bag with a coat on top of it she exclaims:

‘Ah is there any place where I can find an ATM to take money out’

‘Uh you can do that when you pay…’ I said before she started walking briskly past the register. The alarm bell thingies went bonkers and both me and the security guard made a casual move.

‘Can I please check your bag mam’ I said and the security guard said something of his version.

They should renaim these to the ‘magic bags’. You can fit so bloody much. 

She panicked for half a second before peering outside through the window (looking for an ATM machine to play along with her bullshit story). She then went back to the end of the conveyor belt where her ‘munchable’ items were and placed the green bag on the ground. The feral got her mobile that apparently began to ring and commenced talking to herself to the ‘imaginary husband’ about coming to the store so that she can get money to pay for her items. I called the supervisor at that point and she began to walk a bit faster out of the store. By the time the supervisor came she was outside and went of with a dash to her car.

 So we decided to have a look at her green environmental shopping bag that she left behind. I have not seen my supervisors mouth open so widely before in my life. I kid you not, there was razorblades after razor blade after razor blade after razor blade after skin care product after skin care product after skin care product (Mach 3, Olay, think fucking expensive $$$ shit), after skin care product, after razor blade. 

Wikiraz.jpg

this+

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What you see above times 10 thousand…

 

 

……………. 

 

 

We interrupt this story for our daily:

POP QUIZ:

How much was that environmentally green bag worth including the contents of the said bag?

a). $50 (enough for her to cop a fine)

b). $200

c). $500

d). $750

e). $1000 or more

To submit your answer and win 10 MILLION PAPER clips, just text to 1800-SCAMS-R-US and you can be in the winning (or the loosing but we don’t tell you that). Call charges at $9.95 per 40 words, higher for mobile and international calls.

(Only applies when sending via mobile and the operators are in Bangladesh. Terms and conditions apply)

 

OK we are back. Turns out that the total sum was at least one thousand dollars. Yup that’s right, some feral tried to rob the store 1 grands worth of goods in one environmentally friendly plastic bag. If you felt a bit uncomfortable about using the term “DISGUSTING” before, now is a good time to put it into use.

 

DISGUSTING FERALS!!!!!!!

 

Seriously I was shocked. I have heard of stealing bread to feed your family and one legged goat but that is just disgusting! The manager got a good look at her via the cameras and now we need to keep an eye out for her in the future. I read in some blog somewhere that they are encouraging the NAME and SHAME option in their stores. Basically get a picture of the ferals and place them up around the store asking anyone for information about them to contact the police. Oh and anyone who says something like ‘privacy blahblahblah; can go to hell. Feral scum like this do not deserve privacy as they should follow the law like everyone else.

Gee my skin is feeling a bit scaly…. Id sure love a bit of Olay skin moisturizer… But due to my finances I would rather not spend 35 bucks on it. I know I will just take it for free… Boy am I a genius?

What’s the worst part of all of this? There are more serious cases that have occurred in different stores to different people involving more items worth more money and some of those thieves have actually succeeded with their theft. I am counting down the days of automation where you just walk in a store, pick all the items you want in a touchscreen, pay for the said items and all the items get thrown at you via a shoot/hole/compartment thingy. Until then, I guess we got to just keep punishing people and sending them to jail because they do not know the difference between right and wrong.

Run run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me….. I’m the feral man

 

Ah well, you get 3 square meals a day in prison and the social life would increase exponentially for some of the scum that go there…

 Rock on legal system and your many loop-holes!

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2 responses

23 04 2008
markalan

I have worked in retail for many years and have seen all sorts of shoplifting. From the absolutely stupid to the amazing well thought out and nearly successful.

Some of the shoplifting I can understand, some food, medicines and others I can’t understand like People Magazine or a mini rose bush.

In most cases, no matter what, shoplifting is just plain dumb.

24 04 2008
pKay

It truly is disgusting markalan? Ah well, I suppose there will come a point when the situation is fixed and no one steals. But that will be a very very long way away…

Thanks for stopping by. 😀

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