[Note: So to be able to bitch about this in an anonymous fashion, I am going to ‘modify‘ the name of the company that I work for… So after doing some googling I obtained Wal-Mart, Safeway, Woolworths, Coles, Bilo, Aldi, Tesco, Real, Metro, Kmart and Target…. The name of my store (for now and the future) can be called “Testyget”. YES YES I know, so fucking creative!! It’s simply the joining (sort-of) of two of the above together. But hey… all in the name of maintaining anonymity.]
So anyway, last week was just a regular week; had a bunch of shifts to fill in at ‘Testyget’ at a few random times. I had a late shift on the Wednesday and usually I don’t mind them. They are quiet, hardly any nagging customers, no waiting line to speak of and everything goes smoothly. Due to the nature of Testyget, we close earlier than 12 (as some supermarkets work till then) but due to it being a popular and busy area, we have to stay open till 10 pm. Not so bad you say… Night is quite young and what screwballs do you expect to see at that time? Oh if only you knew…
Hence this Wednesday proved to be an example of one of those days, in which a few lunatics came in. Now this wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to deal with them during a busy period as there is two workers at the main checkouts and they were full with customers, lining up. Occasional spurs (everyone decides to get out at the same time) happen now and again… Stays quiet for 20 minutes, then suddenly everyone wants to get out…. quiet for 15 minutes…. everyone runs out… and so the cycle repeats.
Anyway, here at ‘Testygets’ (like a few other places) we sell smokes (cigarettes for those that work at a slower pace) in the front counter. Then when it just so happens to be the “busy-everyone wants to get out phase” of the night (it was 9ish PM at the time), the two ferals rock up. These lunatics are pumped up with booze (you don’t need a breathalyzer to tell they had too many), a few shots of dope (or whatever drug is in bloody fashion), and whatever else they decide to take in a fucking Wednesday night. On top of all this though they decide to waste their dole money on a few smokos as well (in addition to the pack or 3 that they already had on top of everything else). As it was busy, the ‘checkout chicks’ (haha love it) were unable to give in to the impatient psycho’s addiction promptly, so they began to get angry. Where was I? Well as a supervisor I have to do all the extra ‘supervisor’ stuff like money orders, clean registers, refund items, write up rain-checks and that kind of crap for customers. Just so happened that I was writing up several rain-checks (behind the main counter) for diapers and a few other things (they were on special and there was none left) when all of a sudden in true blue Aussie spirit you hear:
“SO AREEEE WE GOINNN TO GIT SUM FUKKKIN SERVICE?“, slamming their fist’s on their counter to add some effect and show some manliness (inefficiencies anyone?).
The newbie (haven’t worked long at our company) checkout chicks were a bit shocked but they none-the-less continued with their job and when they were done they would have been able to serve these psychopaths. To try and help the situation though, I asked the customer who I was writing up the rain-checks to be a bit patient, and I went around to face the mongrels. So I tried to start of the conversation in an efficient way to get thing’s going and to eventually get them out of the store ASAP:
“Good evening, sorry about the delay, what were you after“, I said
“ARE YOUUU THE FUKKKKIN MANAGER OR SOME SHIIIT DIKHEAD!!?“, one of them said eloquently
“I am the supervisor sir, if you want I can bring you my manager“, I pleaded
“FUUUUK THAT DIKHEADDD JUS GIV US SOME B&H’S CLASSICS, AND MAKE IT HARD PAK, GOT THAT DIKHEAD“, one stated in a coherant fashion.
“Not a problem“, I conceded and scanned two Benson & Hedges classics, hardpack 25’s 16mg (most amount of mg you can have in cigarettes).
“18.95” I said blankly.
“HERE U GO MATEEEE AN DUN SHORT CHANGE ME AIIGHT WANKA?” one said while handing me a fifty.
-I added in the money in the register, gave back the change (and no, I didn’t ‘short change’) and finished of with a:
“Thank you for shopping at Testyget, sorry again for the wait” I said as per protocol.
“FUK OF WANKAA” was the conclusion of our encounter.
So in the meantime, while our lovely conversation was occurring, the security guard (who comes at 7 pm) began to walk towards the counter from the entrance to the store (he was standing there like a tool, don’t ask me why) and while we were having our delightful conversation, he confronted the freaks and told them in a stern ‘security guard’ voice to lower the volume and mind the language.
Which was fair and is what the security guard was there for. This is when things got nasty… The level of their voice stepped up a few more decibels:
“HOW ABOUT U GO BAK TO UR FUKIN POVO COUNTRY U FUKIN PAKIIII“, while shoving the security guard to the wall.
(I should probably mention that this ‘security guard’ is not someone you see training his pecs and biceps at the local gym every day)
His face froze and all he was able to utter was:
“please leave the store”
At this point, things probably would have gotten more disturbing, but (thankfully?) the female equivalent of these cavemen came into the store (while smoking in front of the store, blowing smoke at customers faces) and pleaded with these shit-bags to just cool it and go home (by home we of course know means a trailer/piss poor excuse for a house that is of course rented and there is no front door)
So they finished of with a “GIT FUKD ASSHOLE” (and of course they don’t forget to give the finger) to the security guard and they were up and away out of the store to continue smoking their life away in their poor excuse for existence. Consequent sorry and apologies were given out to the customers that had to witness that disgusting ordeal and it wasn’t long before it got quiet again.
At closing time, I told the two checkout chicks to not worry about it, and they won’t do anything more serious than yell. Sticks and stones… that kind of crap… They were not convinced of course, and my manager wonders why were losing staff to asshole like this.
*sigh* if there was only some way to fix all this (I think to myself all philosophically)… To teach those dumb-fucks to stop wasting their welfare money on dope, to quit smoking, drinking etc. Instead of spending it on useless shit, they could have bought things for their family (and it’s the ‘children’ that suffer the most… becoming fucked up like them and hence repeating the cycle…etc-etc)
Ah well. All in a days work I suppose. I will mention a few other exciting adventures that I get up to while at work in a future post. Until next time…